Rouse The Fanboys, TellTale:

Telltale Games is a developer that no one can quite seem to get enough of. They produce narrative driven games mostly based on licensed properties. But do you know what else they produce? Shit.

The First Screenshot from TellTale’s newest game.

Somewhere along the way Telltale forgot to do things that are actually interesting. Perhaps that’s the reason that new installments of their games are even less innovative than Call of Duty or Battlefield. Just because your game has a good story doesn’t give you an excuse to let a game that looks like you poured water onto painting run like shit. Why is it that a game that can and has run on mobile is alleged we’d to drop down into a single digit FPS counter for up to 5 seconds? Why do we allow the least technically impressive games of the generation have abysmal load times?

Ahhh, early PS3 era, low poly boobs

For people that scream about Call of Duty just being reskinned every year you people sure are okay with being dicked by TellTale. At least Call of Duty will step out of its comfort zone to make one big change each year. Meanwhile, you play the same exact game making the same exact choices in a different setting. Yes, those choices are on occasion jaw dropping but what does it matter? Your choices only ever end in one or two of the same outcomes and most the time have no effect. Let’s look at the Walking Dead Season One. No matter who you choose to save in the pharmacy, even though you all chose Carly,  they still get killed by that one dumb bitch. (Spoiler Alert, I’ll be better next time)

This dumb bitch

Lee is still going to die whether or not he loses his arm (Shit, next time I promise). This is an issue that has carried over into the newer games in even worse ways. The First Game of Thrones Season came to a conclusion a few weeks ago, and while I played it all the way through I did it begrudgingly. The game went too far with introducing characters from the show. It’s fine if they’re there, just not in the form they are. You won’t be able to kill Ramsay for his murder of Ethan (dammit short term memory loss) so why make it seem as if you could? It makes a sense of futility which isn’t good in a game where choices are supposed to matter.

Perhaps all of these issues will be fixed in the future but to me, it seems unlikely. Even with the engine being updated for the new batman series, there are nearly two generations of ground to cover. Hopefully, we will see improvements but until then:  fuck you, Telltale.